


carry on this way

by KayCeeCruz



Series: It's Only Time [10]
Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-15
Updated: 2011-06-15
Packaged: 2017-10-20 10:44:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/211935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayCeeCruz/pseuds/KayCeeCruz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jennifer Taylor hopes one day things will be different.</p><p><i>There was a deep sigh from somewhere inside her. The smallest sign of grief for those things Brian wouldn’t allow himself. Sometimes, she would look at him, across the table, across the room and the sadness in his eyes would make her ache for him. She was a mother. Her first instinct was to comfort. </i></p><p><i>And if anyone in the world needed comforting it was Brian. Even if he didn’t think so.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	carry on this way

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to illusionofdepth for taking the time to beta. She is quite awesome. Feedback is appreciated. <3

Jennifer Taylor tried keeping her eyes open as she struggled to listen to her new client’s sadly pathetic attempts at impressing her for, and this was her assumption, reasons that had very little to do with actual business. She discreetly glanced at her watch and sighed. It was apparent that canceling her long-standing bi-weekly Thursday dinner date had been a mistake.

She bit back a sigh at the thought. If it hadn’t been that the market was so slow, she would have insisted that her client choose a different day. Unfortunately, she couldn’t afford to be picky, even though she knew this particular client was all talk. She hated those kinds. They would look and look for ages, never quite finding what they wanted, all the while draining her already frayed finances and patience.

Her cell phone rang and she gave a quick prayer of thanks, looking apologetically across the table. “I’m sorry. I need to take this.” Glancing at the caller ID she smiled widely. “Hello, sweetie.”

“Mom, what are you doing right now?”

“Um…having dinner.” Justin’s voice sounded more excited than she had heard in a long time.

“Uh-huh. Personal or business?”

“Business.”

“Is it going well?”

Jennifer scrunched her nose, very much like Justin had the habit of doing, and pulled her phone back a moment to stare at it, before returning it to her ear. What the hell...“Okay, what’s with the twenty questions, Justin?”

“It’s just that when a boy comes home, he doesn’t expect to find a silent and ominously deserted house…”

Jennifer covered her mouth. Justin was home. Her client forgotten for the moment, she rose from the table without a word, heading to a quieter part of the restaurant. “You’re home? Honey, why didn’t you tell me you were coming home?”

“Because that would have ruined the surprise?” Justin seemed to be holding back a laugh. “I’m sorry if I interrupted something important, Mom. I just figured…” His voice drifted away with words he wouldn’t say. Jennifer knew her son. He’d assumed they would have been waiting. It was something she understood about him.

The fact that he missed the detail that life without him, no matter how lonely, would still move on.

“Your sister is -- never mind. I’ll be there soon.”

“Don’t rush on my account, Mom.”

Jennifer rolled her eyes. “No. This isn’t going anywhere. I realized that half an hour ago, I just didn’t want to be rude. Brian would be making a face and saying -”

“Tell him to fuck off, Mother Taylor.”

It took restraint to stop the bubble of laughter that threatened to spill out at Justin’s scarily accurate imitation of his ex-lover. “Something like that.” She glanced at her table, noting that her dinner companion was fidgeting. “I’ll be there in no time.”

 

  


 

The drive from Alberto’s to her small townhouse seemed to take twice as long as normal. The traffic from Liberty Avenue had doubled in the last few days due to the preparation for Pride --

Aha. That was the reason Justin was home.

Pride.

It was the only explanation for it. He’d rarely come home over the more than three years he had been gone. It was nowhere near a holiday, her birthday was still a few months off, Molly had turned sixteen without much fuss due to Craig’s jackass notion that he could make them jump by withholding money so her sweet sixteen had been canceled, much to Jennifer’s anger.

“What the hell were you thinking procreating with that piece of shit, Mother Taylor?” She muttered to herself, smiling as she heard Brian in her head. He’d actually said that to her more than once. She never had an answer for him. Whatever she had seen in Craig all those years ago had been a lie or her imagination.

Bringing her mind back to the task at hand, she maneuvered past brightly colored banners, cars, drag queens…she grinned when she recognized Kiki getting into a bright neon orange Bug decorated with advertisements for the diner. Whatever Justin’s reason for showing up were, she didn’t care. He was home.

At least for a little while.

 

  


 

“Honey!”

It was a mother’s nature, she knew well, to find moments and places to embarrass your children. It didn’t matter that Justin was no longer the little boy who followed her around or even the stubborn teenager who knew his mind...in hers, he was and would always remain her baby boy.

Knowing this, she ignored the exaggerated sigh that Justin gave when she threw her arms around him and squeezed as tightly as she could. One hung around with Debbie Novotny, one learned how to give proper hellos. She smiled into Justin’s shoulders when he started to squirm.

“Mom. Mom. Please. I need to breathe.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just…you’re here!” Her hands covered his cheeks and she grinned up at him. “I’m so happy you came, sweetheart. Even if it was only for Pride.”

Justin blinked at her. “Pride?”

Jennifer paused as she placed her shoulder bag on the couch, glancing at Justin. “Isn’t that why you came home? Because of Pride?”

Justin shook his head no.

Jennifer’s nose wrinkled, much like her son’s did when he was confused. “Well then why are you here?”

Justin crossed his arms, raising one eyebrow. “I need a reason, Mother?”

“Yes.”

Before Justin could respond, Jennifer heard the front door open and slam shut. “Mom! You home, yet?”

“In here, honey.” She smiled at Justin, who grinned right back at her. Jennifer braced herself for what she knew would be an _incredibly loud_ reaction from her daughter. She and Justin turned in unison to watch as Molly scurried into the room not glancing their way as she did.

“ _Oh my god_. Mom. You won’t _believe_ how insane it was at LD. Debbie could barely keep up and Hunter was about to fall down from all the waiting he was doing. Then, Teddy walked in with this _massive_ poster for the float and it was _unbelievable_. ‘Course I said it’s nothing compared to what Justin would do if he was the artist but you know - _whatever_. He wants to stay away forever - who am I to stop him.” Molly paused in her excited chatter to pull off her shoes, her back still to the room. “And Emmett came in with these _awesome_ designs for the new look that he and Darren are giving the restaurant. They said something about opening a second one by next year so give him a call. He might need you. Anyway, people just kept coming in. Pride, man. It’s _fuck_ \-- oh sorry, Mom. It’s insane. By the time Brian and Daphne walked in, there was _barely_ room for us to breathe. _Oh!1 > And you know who apparently showed up at Thursday dinner tonight? Gre -- _OHMIGOD!! JUSTIN!!!_ ” _

Jennifer laughed out loud at the time it didn’t take for her daughter to launch across the room and practically throw her brother to the ground. Justin was trying to breath in between bouts of laughter and Molly’s death grip.

“Mollusk! Lighten the hold, will you? I’m going to end up unconscious at this rate.”

Molly pulled back, punching Justin on the shoulder hard. “It serves you right, you little shit.”

Jennifer scowled slightly, trying not to be amused. “Molly.”

“Right. Sorry.” Molly grinned over at her mother while she maintained a tight hold on Justin. “It’s just -- _holy shit_! Justin.”

 

  


 

Two hours and a quick macaroni casserole later, the three of them sat around the kitchen table. Jennifer felt more content then she had in as long as she could remember. She wished Tucker hadn’t been at a teacher’s conference. It would have made her night perfect if she could have shared it with him.

“So, Jus, tell me, what the fuck brings you back to the Pitts?”

“Molly!”

“Mom!” Molly mocked in return before glaring at her brother. “I mean, you know. It’s been a while.” There was a smile Jennifer doesn’t quite understand tugging at her daughter’s mouth and when she glanced at Justin she found that he had a matching one. He shrugged, forking some more casserole into his mouth and chewing.

“Figured I needed to start living.”

Molly’s fork clattered against her plate and hands rose over her head in what Jennifer assumed represented a victory sign. Justin choked on laughter and macaroni.

She glanced back and forth between them. Sometimes, she really didn’t understand her children. And when that occurred, she knew better than to ask.

 

  


 

It had surprised her more than it should have that Justin had opted to spend the night in the guest room rather than go out and find Brian. She guessed it was that little speck of hope she always carried around inside her that one day those two would get their act together and just _be_ together.

Brushing her hair softly, she chuckled at the thought that if someone had told her 8 years ago that she would actively welcome her son and Brian together, she would have laughed in their faces. Or punched them. She wasn’t sure which. But that was the case...

She loved Brian. He was family. No matter that he and Justin were no longer. Jennifer smiled in the knowledge that even if they never got their act straight, she snorted at that, Brian would still be family. Suddenly, she remembered a remark Molly had made when she had come home. Something about Thursday dinner…

For the past two years, Brian, most times Daphne or one of the boys, and Jennifer would have dinner on Thursdays twice a month. To catch up, or gossip, or rant…whatever the case was. They hadn’t meant to make it a tradition. It had originated when Brian had needed to possibly expand Kinnetic. Somehow, that had turned into a dinner a couple of weeks later where he explained that he would rather not do that now. Jennifer had bitten her tongue because she’d known that had more to do with Justin than anything.

And from them on it had just progressed. She had expected Brian to roll his eyes and bitch about how completely domesticated they all were with bi-weekly dinners but he never did. She reminded herself that he rarely missed the weekly Sunday dinner at Debbie’s.

When Brian made a commitment, a promise, he kept it. Which was why he tended not to make any. Some fear that he wouldn’t be able to keep them and for Brian Kinney, that was the worst sin. That she knew.

There was a deep sigh from somewhere inside her. The smallest sign of grief for those things Brian wouldn’t allow himself. Sometimes, she would look at him, across the table, across the room and the sadness in his eyes would make her ache for him. She was a mother. Her first instinct was to comfort.

And if anyone in the world needed comforting it was Brian. Even if he didn’t think so.

But she knew he would never accept it so she would turn away and forget what she saw. It was easier for them all that way, she imagined.

She heard muffled voices coming from the hall and, after a last look in the mirror, she grabbed her purse, stepping out to greet her children.

“So. What’s the plan today?”

“Justin doesn’t want to go to the diner.”

Jennifer raised an eyebrow at her son. “Oh?”

“That’s not how…I pictured it.” When he was met with twin blank stares, he rubbed one hand over his face. “I had this idea that when I see Brian again, I want it to be…alone.”

Jennifer nodded. “I can understand that.” She glanced over, catching Molly’s petulant face and elbowed her discreetly. “Right, Molly.”

“Yeah.”

Justin grinned. “Thanks.”

Jennifer threw her car keys at him and motioned to the door. “I guess you better drop us off before you go do…whatever it is you two do.”

Molly snorted and Justin rolled his eyes but couldn’t quite hide the smile on his face.

 

  


 

“Oh, god. Molly. How can you eat that crap?” Trevor’s face matched the disgust in his voice. “Seriously, Mol.”

Molly grinned, taking a bite of her artery-hardening cheeseburger with the works. “Hmm. It’s so good.” Trevor covered his face with his hands and Molly winked at Hunter who threw one arm around his boyfriend.

“Mol. Stop torturing him. Babe? It’s okay. She’s just being evil is all.”

Jennifer let out a small laugh because she loved her daughter but it was true. Molly could be very evil when she put her mind to it. It was always with the best of intentions so as her mother she tended to let it go. Taking a bite of her salad, she glanced up to see Molly’s face freeze and then fall suddenly. Hunter smile light up but then a moment later was gone. Less than a second after she felt someone standing by the table, and glanced up to find Justin.

Looking like someone had just kicked his favorite puppy.

“Honey, what’s wrong?”

Molly wiped her mouth on a napkin, appetite seemingly gone now and leaned forward. “Don’t tell me you had a fight?”

Justin shook his head and motioned for Jennifer to slide over. He sat next to her and allowed her to rub her hand over his arm soothingly. “No. We didn’t fight.”

Jennifer took a breath before asking. “Did you -- “

“He wasn’t alone.”

Molly’s mouth fell open. “What? Wait. No way. It’s like Friday. Brian doesn’t -- OW! Trev!” She rubbed at her leg where Trevor’s foot had made contact. He shook his head and cleared his throat, reaching his hand out across the table.

“Hi. I’m Trevor. Hunter’s boyfriend.” He smiled brightly when Justin took his hand and then quietly asked. “Um...I’m not sure I understand. Brian was --”

Justin sighed. “Wasn’t there.” At the confused stares he received, he shrugged, attempting indifference, but the annoyance in his voice said it all. “I went to his door, stupid me all nervous, and when I knocked, the door opened…it wasn‘t Brian.”

Molly blinked a few times. Trevor glanced over at Hunter who sighed. “Well...I mean...this is Brian. It didn’t mean anything.”

Justin nodded. “Yes it did.” He glanced at his mother who was equal parts confused and if he wasn’t mistaken, kind of pissed off.

“Why?”

Justin opened his mouth to speak but Debbie found him at that moment, launching herself at Justin, manhandling him up and into her arms. “Sunshine! It’s so good to see you. When did you get back, you little asshole? Have you seen Brian yet?”

Hunter was trying to get her attention, waving hands over his head.

“Babe, you shoulda been a cheerleader.” Trevor cracked and Molly laughed despite the rocks in her stomach.

“Shut the fuck up.”

Justin shook his head, answering Debbie‘s question, voice a little too rough. “Not yet.”

“Oh. Well, he had an early meeting or something with Greg but he’ll back in here soon.”

“It was Greg?!” Trevor said loudly.

Everyone turned to look at Debbie, and she paused at all the attention, asking, “What was Greg?”

Justin leaned closer, looking Debbie in the face. “You said something about a meeting, Deb?”

Debbie glanced at them all, confusion tainting her voice, she spoke hesitantly, “Well, yeah. Brian came in this morning for some coffee and told me he’d be busy today with some campaign stuff. Said Greg was meeting him at the loft. Didn’t sound overly thrilled either. He was supposed to have today off. Am I missing something, guys?”

“So, Greg met him. I mean he didn’t...” Justin didn’t finish the sentence when Molly napkin hit his face.

“You’re a fucking moron, Justin.” Molly was aware how Greg felt but she _knew_ Brian and…yeah, not happening.

Debbie arched an eyebrow and nodded. “I’m going to agree with Red over there. I don’t know what you were thinking…but it was just a meeting.”

Justin hugged her hard. “Thank you, Debbie.”

“I don’t know what the fuck I just did but anytime, Sunshine. Now, sit while I get you the special.” She winked at him on her way back into the kitchen.

Hunter raised a hand. “Wait a minute. You were talking about Greg? And if you went to the loft, I mean, it had to be obvious-,” Hunter took one look at Justin’s reddening face and sighed, burying his own in one hand, “You didn’t go all the way in, did you?”

Justin shook his head. “Not exactly, no.” When everyone just stared at him, he raised his hands out in defense. “What?! He opened the door! I assumed, you know.”

“Dude. _Seriously_. Do not _ever_ do that to us again. Ever.” Trevor had one hand over his chest. “I was going to start to cry or something equally embarrassing.”

“Don’t mind my boyfriend. He’s a hopeless romantic.” Hunter pulled Trevor in for a short kiss. “Besides that’s not the way this is going down right, Justin?”

There was much said in that statement and Justin felt moved that these people -- one that he didn’t even know -- seemed to root for him. That they cared about Brian and their -- whatever the hell they were. He opened his mouth to say something when he _felt_ a shift around him.

Brian.

Something always changed in the air when he was near. Like molecules scattered and joined and combusted right through Justin’s skin. The voice drifted over him, sinking in and penetrating those places he thought were dead. It was soft, caring and he knew instinctively that Brian was talking with Gus.

“Me too. ‘Bye, Gus.”

Justin couldn’t see Brian but he knew that he hadn’t been spotted yet.

“Hey, Deb. Can I get a turkey sandwich to go?” It was then he must have looked over at there table and it was there, in waves -- those feelings he could never hide from Justin. He didn’t have to look to see Brian’s shocked-excited expression. His name flowed out on a breath. “Justin.”

It all disappeared -- the dinner, the people, the fear -- and it was just him and Brian.

Rising to his feet, he moved swiftly and before he knew what had hit him, Justin’s arms were around Brian. It took only a second before it was returned and Justin laughed with Brian squeezed tighter, hiding his face in the crook of Justin’s neck, sighing. “You little shit.”

Justin laughed freely, like he hadn’t in a long time.

 

  


 

It didn’t take them long to make excuses. For Justin to drag Brian out into the streets, grabbing hold of his hand as they walked to the car. He could feel the questions, even some doubts, coming from Brian. He squeezed the warm hand held in his and smiled, blinding and radiant over at him. “I’m here.”

“For how long?”

The question came out before either one of them realized and Justin bit back a sigh. “I go home in the morning actually. I have an opening tomorrow night.”

Brian nodded. “Okay.”

And that was all. No more questions. No reprimands. No demands.

Justin stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, halfway to the car, hands on his hips. “That’s it?”

Brian turned to look at him, something like anger flickering in his eyes but then it was gone. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play stupid. You’re not going ask why I’m here? If I plan to come back again? If I missed you?”

Brian raised an eyebrow because really were any of those questions ones he would _ever_ ask Justin. He took what Justin could give and to hell how he felt. He made Justin out to be the bad guy, not purposely but still, and for some reason that just pissed Justin off. There was another flicker -- this time of satisfaction -- across Brian’s face before it was swallowed away.

Justin walked forward, leaning against Brian’s frame, hands holding onto shoulders and looked him in the eye. “I thought you were ready.”

Brian pulled back slightly. “I am.” Sad eyes looked back down at Justin. “You aren’t.”

Justin growled out Brian’s name, taking a deep breath before he continued. “Don’t fucking tell me how I feel.”

“Are you staying?”

He had asked.

He had actually asked and Justin was thrown for a loop.

“Uh.” He swallowed, shaking his head. “Not this time. But --”

“Soon?” Brian finished for him, taking Justin’s hand in his. “Then, is it fucking fair to expect me to jump right back in here with you, Justin? When _you_ don’t even have any idea what the hell is going on? “

Justin closed his eyes because that’s what one does when faced with some truths. It wasn’t fair to want everything when they were just starting out. When he was just finding his place back in this life -- his life -- that he had left behind. It would take time. He knew that. So, Brian would take time. He knew that, too.

“You’re making some valid points, Mr. Kinney.”

Brian smirked at him, bringing his arms to Justin’s waist and pulling him closer. “Don’t be pushy.” Brian’s face leaned in closer, his breath falling on Justin’s skin and the shivers that ran up his back trembled under Brian’s hands.

Justin sniffed indignantly despite the sudden lack of brain function now that Brian’s hands were on him. “So, don’t be me is what you’re saying.” He looked up when Brian’s hand halted and his heart tripped over itself at everything he could see in Brian’s eyes.

“I would never say that.”

He kissed him then, sweet and soft and so full of promises neither one of them was willing to say out loud. It deepened, intensified and Justin was on fire. Blood and skin and breath all tumbled into this inferno that he was willing to die in. His hands clutched at shoulders, hands, hair, face, it had been an eternity. Teeth clinking, mouth open and wet, moans escaping into the day. His cock twitched alive, rock hard, and it was all he could do not to demand Brian inside him right then.

Brian pulled away, forehead touching Justin’s. “Fuck.”

“If you insist.”

Justin grinned at the vibration of Brian’s laughter filling the space between them…

 

  


 

Jennifer watched as Justin and Brian talked, smiled at the happiness she could see there between them. When she turned Molly was being handed a stack of bills and she grinned at that. “Don’t tell me you’ve been betting on your brother’s happiness, Molly?”

Molly shrugged. “Hey. I bet on the good side.”

Jennifer nodded, glancing once more behind her….she hoped that finally, _finally_ Brian and Justin could find their way back.

 

  


 

Brian closed his eyes. “I can’t. I have a meeting in twenty minutes.”

Justin dropped his mouth in mock shock, eyes sparkling with humor. “Brian Kinney turning down incredible, mind-blowing sex -- for work?” He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. “Who the fuck are you and what have you done with Brian?”

“I’m asking the same thing right now, Sunshine.” Brian looked in pain, literally.

Justin reached out hands to smooth over Brian’s shirt, tugged at the collar, making sure it was presentable. “We won’t have any time, will we?”

Brian sighed. “Fuck.”

“Stop offering unless you can put out, Kinney. You’re being a cock tease and that’s not fair.” Justin’s arms encircled Brian’s waist, chin resting on his chest, eyes staring up under eyelashes. He tried not to smile at Brian biting his lip in an attempt to restrain whatever moan was threatening to spill out. “I am coming -- sorry bad choice of words -- I am going to be back.”

Brian raised an eyebrow. “When? For how long?”

“Sunday. Couple of weeks. Enough time to let you fuck me in every room of the loft, in Kinnetic, in the car, at the diner…I know I’m missing some but we’ll remember them, I’m sure.”

Brian sighed. “Sunday?”

“Oh my god. It’s two days away, Brian. Two.” Justin held up two fingers and laughed when Brian bit them, sucking them into his mouth which effectively changed the laughing into a gasp and moan. “That’s not fair. There’s -- still tonight.”

Brian grinned at him, ready to respond when there was a small cough from behind Justin and he turned -- facing none other than Greg. Instant flare of jealously blazed inside Justin and he fought the urge to mark Brian. They weren’t officially anything even though they had always been everything.

“Greg. Hi. This is Justin Taylor. Justin. Greg Black. Currently running for Chief of Police. We’re working to make sure that happens.” Brian smiled at his friend and patted his shoulder.

Justin caught the light in Greg’s eyes and glared at him. Brian wasn’t interested, Justin knew that but still…he knew that look. The steel behind it when it turned on Justin. Determination.

“We met, technically.”

Brian raised an eyebrow at him. “You met? When?”

Greg answered. “He came looking for you this morning at the loft. However, we weren’t properly introduced,” Greg held out a hand. “Justin.”

“Greg.”

It was tense and he felt like a complete moron for wanting to smack Greg’s hand away so he took it instead. Didn’t grimace at the squeeze there. Only nodded and listened as Brian talked to Greg for a moment. When it was done, the other man glanced at Justin before heading into the diner.

In that look, there was something Justin had rarely seen and he wanted to warn Brian. To let him know that his friend was going to get hurt. Because at the end of the day, Brian belonged to Justin.

Nothing and no one would change that.

Brian had turned back to him, smile in place when Justin’s phone rang. It was Paul. He held up a finger and picked up. “Hey. What’s up?” He listened intently, trying to speak between the words thrown at him in a rant. “Okay, calm down. What do you mean they can’t find them? They were there.” Justin hung his head, pinching his nose in an effort not stave of the sudden headache forming. “Okay. Fine. I’ll be there soon.” He closed his eyes, sighing and then opened them to face Brian.

“I know. Go.”

“Shit.”

“Justin, it’s your art. We didn’t all fucking suffer for things to go wrong now. Go. I’ll be here in two days.”

Justin moved in, lips touching lips, mouth open under Brian’s, wanting to savor this until he could get more. It would have to be enough.

For now.

 

  


 

Jennifer stifled a laugh as she watched from the corner as Emmett continued his “Let’s Cheer Up Brian” plan.

“Come on! Dance with me, Bri.” Emmett bumped his hip against Brian’s, throwing one glitter covered arm over his friend’s shoulder and grinning when he received an evil glare in return. There was affection behind the glare though.

Emmett leaned his head on Brian‘s. “Look. Justin isn’t here. I don’t want to dance with any of those stud muffins out there. Not old enough.”

“Not hung enough.” Brian smirked into his glass as Emmett squealed out a laugh.

“Sadly true.” He sighed, dramatically, one arm still slung over Brian’s shoulders while the other gestured wildly around him. “I think our generation is the last of the well-endowed.”

Ted stood to Emmett’s side and frowned. “I think that’s the most depressing thing I ever heard.”

Trevor and Hunter huddled in, sweaty and breathless from….who knew what and looked at the three men with amusement. “Believe me, guys. You aren’t.”

Jennifer rolled her eyes, calling over as she did. “You know I love you all, my boys. But there is such a thing as too much information.”

Brian tried not to laugh as he opened his mouth but Jennifer held up her hand. “Don’t you dare make a lewd remark about my son, Brian Kinney. I will tell him and there won’t be any kind of _anything_ for you. For a while.” It wasn’t an idle threat either so Brian closed his mouth with a snap and took another sip of his drink.

There was a series of happy feelings rolling around inside Jennifer. Justin had been a main topic of conversation all day and night. What had resulted in bets as to how long he could stay away, when he would be home now, what would happen with Brian and Justin had started making circulation. She had refused to play. Like Debbie, she didn’t bet against people’s happiness. She had been glad to see that none of the boys, not Emmett or Ted or Michael -- not one had actually participated.

But what was the most hopeful sign was that Brian hadn’t denied any of it. When Justin was brought up, he answered whatever question was asked. He seemed -- for lack of a better word -- content.

She watched him, sipping his drink, making small talk with Trevor and ignoring the pointed glances he kept receiving from several of the hard bodies at the bar. It was a possibility he wasn’t seeing them. However, it was Brian so Jennifer knew better.

Startled to see that she was now being approached by Brian, Jennifer set her drink down and met him halfway. He hugged her quickly, kissing her cheek. “Good night, Mother Taylor.”

“You’re leaving? It’s Pride!”

“It’s okay, I’m proud enough.” He shrugged and winked at her as he moved away. “I’ll leave you all to your wicked ways.”

Emmett waved him out, yelling over the din. “Find a stud to take home!”

Ted punched Emmett’s shoulder. “What the hell, Emmett?”

Jennifer narrowed her eyes when Emmett only grinned at them all and started to laugh.

There was just some things about these boys she would never understand. Smiling, she finished her drink and accepted Trevor’s invitation to dance. It was better not to think about it.

 

  


 

Pride on Liberty Avenue was like nothing else Brian had (or would) ever experience. His first time there at the ripe and curious age of fourteen had taught him two things: how to give expert head and how to dance. One better than the other but…

He made his way through the crowd gathered at the entrance to Woody‘s. There was more than one look of interest thrown his way and still being Brian, his cock reacted accordingly. He might miss the shit out of Justin but he wasn’t fucking dead. He locked eyes with some muscle-bound wall of flesh, pausing to consider his next move.

There was always that old instinct to prove that he hadn’t changed. That he was still Brian fucking Kinney. But it had diminished considerably over the years and his heart was rarely in it. Whatever reaction he may have had earlier had waned and he didn’t have the energy to pretend that it was any different. Jesus Christ. When the fuck had he grown up? It was almost enough to force him into dragging the guy home.

Almost. He wasn’t that Brian anymore. Much.

And he was tired. And he was alone. And he wanted Justin.

After all these years, he was well aware the more he wanted Justin, the more difficult it was to satisfy that hunger with someone else.

He turned his head away and proceeded out the door. He was sure muscle boy would have no problems finding someone else. The thought of calling Emmett to tell him about the guy flitted across his mind. But he knew Emmett would ask Brian why he wasn’t ramming his own dick in there and Brian had no plausible explanation that wouldn’t end with Emmett hugging him and calling him “baby” sweetly.

Brian was in no mood to deal with that. So better to leave it alone.

When he had cleared the door, he breathed deeply. It was different inside. Overwhelming odors permeated the bar. But once outside, the air carried the faint smell of sugar, liquor, lube and men. It made Brian ache just a little for something he couldn’t quite name. Then, the feeling was gone and he slowly climbed down onto the sidewalk. Hands in his pockets, he strolled through the cluster of people planted firmly on Liberty Avenue for the rest of the night. He could clearly make out his car from where he was.

He would go home, take a shower and...

Mope.

He knew that was what he was planning. He was going to mope. Because Justin wasn’t there.

When the fuck had he become such a twat?

The hand on his shoulder took him by surprise and Brian’s heart thundered when he heard a familiar voice in his ear.

“Hey stud. Wanna dance?”

The smile crossed his face before he could stop it and he met twinkling eyes. “What the fuck are you doing here?” He didn’t wait for an answer because he honestly didn’t care the reason and pulled Justin into his arms. He felt Justin’s chuckle run over his skin and leaned his chin against a shoulder. “You asshole.”

Justin’s hands roamed over his back, across his neck and delved fingers into Brian’s head, pulling it back so they could look at each other. “I told you I would be back.”

“But I thought-- Justin didn’t you have an opening tonight?” Brows furrowed, Brian glared, his mind already forming a plan as to how to get him back so he could enjoy his success.

Justin shrugged. “I was there. I gave a speech. I took the first plane here. Took three hours. Nothing to it.”

“Justin --”

“Don’t give me shit, Brian. I know what I’m doing. If you’ve been to one opening, you’ve been to them all. I did what I was supposed to and now the gallery owner is doing it. So I came back. For you. And can we finish this discussion at the Loft. That way when I win we can get down to fucking and sucking until we drop dead.” Justin wrapped warm hands around Brian’s neck. “Unless you want that dance...”

Brian grinned, one those rare ones that only Justin was privy to and pulled Justin into the street. “With you? Pretty much always.”

 

  


 

It shouldn’t have made him nervous. Palms sweating, heart echoing in his ears so loudly he could barely make out the words Brian whispered to him, mouth so dry that it hurt to swallow.

He wasn’t seventeen years old anymore. He knew that.

Walking into the loft, he still felt all those old feelings rush back. All the fear and excitement and want from that first moment. Except now it was all mixed up with love and years and heartache.

Because this should have been where he’d been all along.

Not in the loft exactly. But with Brian….and all those lost years came rushing toward him so fast that he stumbled back into strong arms that wrapped around his waist. Justin closed his eyes, concentrating on remembering to breath and when Brian kissed the side of his face, he trembled. If it weren’t such a fucking ridiculous thing to do, he would have cried. Just a little.

He knew Brian was there. Felt the heat radiating from his body.

“Are you…”

Justin nodded. “Fuck yes.” He was scared. He was so close to having everything. Every damn fucking thing he didn’t think he could have. “I don’t know if I can take it if we don’t work this time.” It was a whispered confession.

Brian’s forehead against the back of Justin’s head, arms holding him, deep sigh and then, “Don’t be a fucking pessimist, Justin.”

Their laughter mingled and then died, leaving only their breathing.

The silence stretched until Justin’s skin tingled in anticipation, and then Brian’s voice floated in his ear, teeth nipping between words. “I fucking missed you, Sunshine.”

It could have been slow. They both knew that. They could take their time now. They were here. Years later and still relatively in one piece. Together. Nobody would have fucking believed it. Least of all Justin.

It could have been sweet. They deserved it. Even if later they would have laughed at what complete twats they were. They needed it. So much time to make up for. So much hurt to mend.

But it was like Brian’s words let loose wave upon wave of need and desperation that had been pushed away for too long. Justin turned, hands reaching for Brian, mouth bruising, licking, biting...all teeth and tongue...all want and demands.

He gripped Brian’s face, pulling back to take note of the differences in this man he loved. He traced fingers over wrinkles that hadn’t been there before. Over the bruised mouth, smiling when a tongue slipped out to suck on one finger. He dropped pecks on dimpled chin, slowly moving down, biting at skin. Brian swallowed against Justin‘s lips, making him glance up into eyes that told Justin so much. Like they always had.

Clothes seem to fall off, Brian peeling away layer after layer…taking with it Justin’s emptiness. Unveiling every desire he had kept hidden for so long. Hands brushing over shoulder, and arms...Justin scrambled for a hold, for something to fasten himself to, just in case this wasn’t real. In case he woke up…but then Brian kissed him, tasted, dueling tongues and shared breath and he knew. This was real.

Skin against skin...heat and warmth and love...and Justin gasped when Brian wrapped a hand around his aching cock, encircled and slowly stroked the shaft, hand tightening, thumb sliding over the head. Justin’s head fell back, lungs constricted with so much emotion, so many words he needed to say but couldn’t, stars clouding his vision. “Brian.”

It was a curse and moan and everything in between that word meant for him.

Brian touching him drove straight through him, into his gut and beyond. It was like that last time and all the ones that hadn’t been since all in one moment. His knees buckled, his back hitting the floor and he was glad for Brian’s quick reflexes. Body crushed by warmth, smelling of Brain -- everything that was made of the world he wanted -- he wrapped arms around Brian’s neck, breathed in, smiled into the skin that shivered beneath his mouth. “Fuck me. Now.”

Brian leaned away, staring at him, eyes dark and needy, saying everything and it took a moment to realize Brian was memorizing him. Looking for those changes that the years had brought. Fingers spread over him, stroking muscle and scars, learning the new places that made up Justin now. Warm gaze roaming over his body, hands smoothing over dampened skin. Brian’s mouth found it’s way to Justin, licking sweat and taste away. Moving down and Justin gulped, finding strength from inside, pulling at Brian’s hair to make him stop. He wrapped legs over Brian’s hips, pushing cock against cock, feeling Brian’s groan all the way through. “I want you. Inside. Now.”

He started to laugh when Brian _almost_ scrambled for his clothes, searching for what Justin assumed were provisions, but then it was cut off by the fingers that explored him, stretching and preparing. Justin bit back on a cry of pain. Arching up, eyes shut tight at the pleasure, hands gripping for Brian. It had been long…enough. “Just...Brian, please.”

No other words managed past his throat when Brian entered him. Fast and hard. Bodies slick against one another, fighting for control, hands on Justin hips, steadying, sharp push in…long strokes out, it was fucking torture. And he loved it.

Loved Brian.

Justin’s teeth bit into muscled shoulder, breath coming in short pants, hands finding Brian’s ass, gripping and pushing deeper. Legs moved higher, wrapping tighter around Brian, feeling trembles there. Soothed with kisses and words. Let his hands encourage and beg. Cried out when their rhythm lost all sense. Buried his face in Brian’s neck, licking sweat and Brian onto his tongue.

The rush was familiar but stronger, taking the air from his lungs and when he came, exploding between them, Brian’s mouth fell on his, tasting his moans, and returning them with his own, heat filling Justin inside…

 

  


 

“Is this even a good idea, Molly?” Jennifer followed closely behind her daughter, tray of coffee in one hand. “He might not want company.”

Molly shrugged. “He’s getting it.” She tossed red hair back, defiant and a little more than determined. “Look, Mom, he needs people to tell him to cheer the fuck up sometimes, you know.”

Jennifer sighed. “Isn’t that what your brother is supposed to do when he gets here tonight?”

“If he gets here. Fucker didn’t even answer his phone this morning.”  
Molly fished inside her bag, pulling out the spare keys Brian had once given her. Jennifer stilled Molly’s hands and shook her head.

“Knock.”

Molly paused, then nodded and did as her mother suggested.

Once.

Twice.

They shared a worried glance and then Molly pounded steadily until she heard mumbled cursing. The loft door slid open and they both smiled at Brian.

“Good morning, sleepy head.”

“Hey, Bri! We brought sustenance.” Molly entered the loft but Jennifer had stopped at the sight of Brian.

“Um…Molly. Maybe we should come back.” Jennifer wasn’t exactly an expert but Brian had what could only be called a nicely fucked look. Hair in all kinds of disarray, markings on neck and shoulders, pants that were riding very low and seemed hastily put on.

“Why?”

“Because he hasn’t finished fucking me this morning that’s why!” came the yell from Brian’s room.

Molly’s surprised eyes lit on Brian’s face and then she grinned, clapping quickly. “About fucking time.”

Brian covered his face with one hand, peeking out at Jennifer between fingers. “Mother Taylor...”

“We’ll leave. Come on, Molly.” She grabbed her daughter’s hand and rushed her out the door. Looking back, she yelled towards the room. “I fully expect you both at the house for dinner tonight, Justin. Or I’ll make sure neither one of you can do this again for a while.” She paused to kiss Brian’s cheek, seeing the smile spreading across his face as she slid closed the door.

Like Molly said fucking _finally_.


End file.
